Session One – Goblin Giblets, Chaotic-Stupid Clerics, and a Daring DM

I said I would be back for session one, and so I am. You’re not going to be abandoned that easily!

I managed to catch (almost) everyone’s names this time, so that’s a step in the right direction. Our cast is:

  • Rhogar Norixius (me) – Dragonborn draconic sorceror who doesn’t realize that he’s magic because he assumes that all of his dragon blood abilities come from his dragon blood instead
  • Verbrork Cliffgaze (Cliff) – Human draconic sorceror who still doesn’t have a backstory beyond his dad sticking his dick in a dragon
  • Kithri Underbough – The female halfling rogue
  • Shadow Halfman – The male halfling rogue
  • Levin Bandageweaver – Half-elf nature cleric who is our only source of healing, which becomes important later
  • Asmund – A half-elf fighter, who was a new addition because we had someone join the group and needed someone capable of taking a hit (as much as anyone is at level one at least)

We picked up slightly before where the last session left off, last time we stopped on the road to Phandalin, this time we picked up just before we departed to introduce the new guy, the half-elf fighter Asmund. Introductions went pretty except for Levin, who stopped the game for about 15 minutes to interrogate Asmund’s player about his appearance.

“What color is he?”

“I dunno, pale I guess.”

“White pale or black pale?”

“Somewhere in between?”

Eventually he was satisfied, so we left for Phandalin. Along the way, we stopped a tinker named Ben Abernathy fix his broken wagon, which was strange because he offered to repay us by fixing stuff for us in the future. He also gave us a couple potions of healing, which immediately silenced those concerns.

Later down the road, we came across a couple dead horses, which we assumed to be a trap, and a letter addressed to our employer, Gundren Rockseeker, which confirmed it. Immediately after reading that, 4 goblins popped out of the woods and started shooting at us. The rogues both failed to hit anything, Asmund killed one, Rhogar killed one, one escaped, and we interrogated the last one for the location of our employer. Asmund found a Deck of Many Things on one of the bodies (there’s the daring DM part), which brought everything to a halt. Levin tried to persuade Asmund to let him draw a card, Shadow tried to steal it, much fun was had.

Eventually they gave up and we were able to get back off track and start looking for our boss. On the way, we found a goblin who fell into a pit trap. It turned out he was the one who fled from us earlier, and in his haste forgot about his own trap. Levin, Asmund, and Shadow brought things to a halt again to try to shoot the goblin in the dick with their crossbows. After a couple rounds of everyone missing, Cliff decided to finish off the goblin, but ended up getting hit by a couple missed shots instead. Eventually Asmund got bored and killed the goblin with his battleaxe. Shadow tried again and managed to steal the deck this time.

We finally got to the the cave the goblins are living in and there was a group of three guards outside. We engaged them, the first one went down, and Levin immediately went to loot the body, even though he was already engaged in combat with another goblin. I guess he really thought there was going to be another magic item in the very next fight. Goblin got an opportunity attack because of course, and he immediately went down. Two sessions out of two that our healer has gone down first entirely due to his own actions. But at least he got some beef jerky for his trouble.

At that point we decided to take a long rest, rather than blowing our healing resources on something that dumb. Nothing interrupts us in the night, so when we wake up we enter the goblin stronghold and immediately see 3 sleeping wolves. Rogues decide to sneak attack, fail to kill them, Kithri gets taken down by a critical, and everyone else kills the wolves, but not before they can let out a howl and raise the alarm. And that’s where the session ended.

Everyone got a chance to do something relevant to their class this time, so it already went better than the intro in session zero did. The new guy (Asmund) got to kick ass and take names, so he was pretty happy. The cleric got to go down early due to his own stupidity, so he was happy. Seriously, we need to kill off his cleric and make him roll a barbarian, since that’s how he wants to play.

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